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Monday, June 17, 2024

Adehtainer – The Painted Picture


I wake up daily with tears in my heart and echoes in my head with voice screaming “I AM NOT A DEMON“

Or probably safer to say I wasn’t born a demon! but what happened to me?


I journey back to the inception, the point where angelic soul was stolen ,the point where where my woes started and I became shattered.

From a tender age, I saw life, my emotions broke and my feelings fell off.

Gliding up the mountains of life, my knee got bruised and my lap couldn’t be a resting place for a bereaved soul.

My tongue got burnt by the coals of hell and soothing words departed from my tender lips,

My belly got purged and plunged by the blows of life so much that I got empty of virtue..

My heart which used to be golden  got hit by betrayal and all that is left in it is a blackout and chaffs of detest.

How can I love when I can`t relate, it hurts and pitches me against my will and dream.

How can I trust when it’s a tool for an advantageous game I am being played and it never ends as I fantasied coz I was used.

How can I be understood or prove myself when I am painted as the demon carved out of my ills.

How can I forget I was stripped off opportunities I deserved and denied taking chances I fought for because I am from a different caste.


I stretched my hands out to be held by love in my dark days but it was flung away as I slid down the hill of darkness.

I called out for love in the days of adversities but evil was my only bail out.

The community rejected me at the slightest show of my flaw and labelled me evil, ignoring my good deeds

I tried to fight the reformation of darkness and wickedness but it was my only solace.


I fought my demons and invited them back for dinner!

I drowned my fears but went  back to my shivers!!

I lost peace trying to find a life!!!


Truly I  act like a demon, but I didn’t understand any other pattern of life.

Truly  my doings paints me as a monster, but my soul is the major prey of my wrongdoings


I have seeked  fulfilment in many things  and way but none sheds my weight and pain.

I have seeked for restitution but it seems my case is far beyond redemption

I have tried to make amendment with good deeds but I keep breaking more people

I met lot of people but I couldn’t be the right person to all

“To some, I was toxic, To some, I was a tonic“

“ To some, i was a curse, To some, I was a blessing“

“To some, I was a burden, To some I was a relief“

But to myself, I was a cross

I make others happy, but my life looks like a joke.

Why am I tagged the hunter when I am the hunted?

Why am I tagged the breaker when I am the broken one?

Why am I being painted as what I am not?

This is not me! This is not my choice!!It is a reflection!!!It is a deformation!!!

I do not want this life, neither do I enjoy being this hard guy and villian

I do not love this defiance I display. I am tired of the barricade I move with in my heart.

I just want a simple life of peace and purpose.

I want to be loved!!! I want to be understood!!!!!

ITS TIME TO DROP MY BAG OF DEMONS and open my borders

Is the try worth it? Can I be saved? Can I be reformed?

I will seek no further and find my answers

I will drop the lies and deceit

I will drop the make up and cry my pain out

Its time to create a new life!! A new angel!!!

Or perhaps a new demonKL

NO!!I will face my fears and fight my monsters.

I will open my borders and cast my demons out.

I will send them out and never call them back.

I will be broken and hurt but I won`t let them my experience deform me anymore.

Its time to enjoy my life in peace and happiness


Adewale A.  (adehtainer)

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